Just Graduated: What Do I Do Next?

Hello pals, and happy Thursday!

As you might have guessed from the title of this post, I will not be talking about books today, but rather about finishing your studies, and the struggle that comes after it.

Your twenties are always a difficult time to naviguate. It feels like so many things change, and you often feel out of sync with everything - and everyone - around you. We often talk about your twentites are a transitional period: and they are! You finish your studies, enter adulthood, maybe fall in love, lose friends and gain new ones... Everything feels out of balance, and your life could change drastically with just one decision.

I officially finished my studies a month ago, when I submitted my dissertation. And while it feels like I have been done with university long before that - thanks to covid and online school - there is something so definite and daunting about submitting that last assignment.

The past month has been very confusing and difficult mentally, and if you are in the same position as me, I am here to tell you that you are not alone. In today's post, I will talk about a few things that I have noticed and struggled with since finishing university.

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Going Home

When I was younger, I always imagined that I would find a job right after finishing university. For some reason I felt like I would earn a living right away and be able to live away from my parents and start my professional life. Spoiler alert: this is not what happened.

First of all, because of the current circumstances, I came back home once classes ended to finish writing my dissertation. I was hoping that I would be able to apply for jobs at the same time, but I did not really have the time and I knew that I did not want to have a full-time job while also finishing my assignment, which meant that I was home for a good three motnhs with nothing else to do.

I will admit that I am incredibly lucky to have a home to go back to, and a good enough familial situation that coming home does not feel like a chore. That being said, after living by myself for two years in a different country, being home is a bit unsettling.

The biggest shock when coming home after being away is to slowly revert to who you used to be before you left, or in any case, be confronted with this past version of yourself. It is not always a bad thing per se, and it can be fun to see how much you have grown since, but it can also feel like the growth you have experienced so far disappears, so much so that it feels like a huge step back, at a time where you feel like you need to take a step forward.

Making Friends, Keeping Friends, Losing Friends

Your twenties can also be a very frustrating time in terms of friendships. Most of the time, you will have met your friends at univerisity (or before that), but once you leave the academic life, you might not end up in the same city (or country) as your friends. This can be incredibly daunting, as it often means that you may have to start over or make new friendships, with people who live near you. Of course, this does not mean that you need to forget about the friends you had before that. Only one of my uni friends lives in London and only one of them lives in my hometown, but I still talk to all of them regularly.

However, if you are like me, making friends can seem like a terrifying thing to achieve. I have a lot of anxiety, and often struggle to meet new people, which is why I would recommend joining groups even after university. This could be a sport, a creative club, a book club... Anything to meet new people outside of work or your regular circles.

Growing up and being in your twenties also means losing friends. I cannot tell you how many friends I have lost gradually over the last five years or so. The truth is, people grow apart, and sometimes there is nothing you can do about that. Not only can you find yourself all over the world, but you also grow at different paces. One of my friends has been living with her boyfriend for two years, but has not finished her studies, while another started working last year, and I barely finished my degree. Sometimes these differences mean nothing. My friends and I often joke about how we idealize the other's life, but our different paths are not obstacles in our friendships. But sometimes, your life can change drastically, and you priorities are not what they once was, which means losing friends over time.

Friendships in general are a real commitment, and what people often forget is that school relationships are mostly based on proximity. Once you stop seeing these same people everyday, you realize that it is hard to maintain a relationship with someone you do not see all the time. It means checking up on people and making the time and effort to cultivate friendships. It is almost a full-time job, so do not feel bad if you grow apart from someone, or if you sometimes struggle to check up on everyone: if the friendship goes both ways it is very likely to survive the distance and your busy schedule!

What Do You Truly Want?

I think that the hardest thing I noticed since I finihsed my degree is that I am unsure about so many things. For the past few months, I feel like I have been going through a big existential crisis: do I really know what I want to do with my life? Am I happy with the path I am taking? Will I be happy doing whatever it is I choose to do?

It is neverending really, which is a bit annoying when I realize that I am 22 years old and that I can always change my mind if I am unhappy. I think that I have spent so much of my life idealizing what I wanted after graduating that it feels unattainable now. And of course, priorities change, and what I once enjoyed can be completely different from what I like now.

Nevertheless, because I have so much time on my hands now, I have to much time to overthink every decision I make and everything I ever wanted. And with all this overthinking comes the anxiety that stops me from doing what I truly enjoy; because after all, I could be doign so many things in the meantime. I am free of deadlines, and I am lucky enough to have a stable situation that allows me to figure out what I want to do.

While I do have the pressure of finding a job and being able to move back to London, where I feel like I would be really happy to live, I also wnat to focus on the things I enjoy doing. After all, I have a lot of free time now to spend working on personal projects, and I might not have so much time for them in the next few years. Might as well make the best of it!

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You may have noticed that this post does not give concrete answers, it does not tell you what to do, or how to improve your situation, but the truth is, there is no secret recipe for navigating your twenties. My best advice is to make the most of it, enjoy the opportunities you have and keep dreaming big. This might be a weird time for you, and you may feel a bit overwhelmed by it all, or anxious, or just unsure of what to do. We've all been there, and quite frankly, we are all still so young, we should not have all the answers! Feel free to make mistakes, and be kind to yourself, always.

If you have experience or advice you want to share, feel free to comment on here of to find me on Instagram where you can share your thoughts with everyone else. In other news, I may take a bit of a step back from this blog, or at least, I might not post as much as I do now, because I have joined a blog and magazine! I am now a writer and interviewer for a team called Prose Before so if you are lookign for other content, you can check out their blog and online magazine for some great bookish content!

Until next time xxx